Not Looking Back

It makes sense to me when my mother said you were only doing this out of anger. You can color it pretty with what ever words you want though.

Yeah I’m pissed a little that you couldn’t do what you’re “planning” on doing (move, get a new job) with me. That was our plan. You’re shallow. I made the best decision of my life.

To imagine having you forever is to imagine a slow death of the soul.  A constant battle between who loves each other more, lists after lists about the deeds done to prove it, what were we actually arguing? What were we trying to prove? That we loved each other? I mean… what? Were we actually desperately seeking a way out and pointing fingers in the air?

Maybe.

We never made time for fun. We got tied down with responsibilities the minute I moved to be with you. What happened to showing me around the city? Watching Kim Massie sing? We were working to support each other. That’s what. We became two working partners, and put the romance to the side. PARTNERS. Not just lovers, not just friends.

Why am I not sad anymore? Because I remind myself of all the bullshit and stupid shit you did and are still doing and how your love was only skin deep. I’m glad I realized it when I did. And I’m grateful for my TF to show me what a true soul level love feels like.  I know what I bring to the table. I’m not afraid to eat alone. I have a great love to share for someone who is worthy. My love goes deeper than the skin.

Love and Light friends.

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